I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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