He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
