You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
