Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
