you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
