I need help removing her.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
