i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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