he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
