My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
