If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Sry I called you an 8
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
