If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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