She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
