i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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