I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize