I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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