I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
