No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
