theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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