that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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