just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
