Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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