She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
