how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
