Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
