I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
