so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
