hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
