She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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