so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize