Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
