He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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