I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
