Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
