so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
