How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
