Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
