Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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