The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
