well I can't set my house on fire every night
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
