Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize