I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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