Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize