The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
