Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
