everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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