bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
