You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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