I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We were destined to go to rehab together
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
