i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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