There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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