there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
