I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
