he shaved USA in his pubs
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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