I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
