i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize