forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
