I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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