adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
don't judge my taste in strippers
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
