Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
