the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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