From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize