you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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