Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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