I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Someone came in the potted fern
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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