it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
