A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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