do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just want to make out with him forever
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize