I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
