I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
