This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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