The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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