he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i think i just lost a toe
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
