i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
